I am really outspoken. I always have been. I almost can’t help myself. Before my brain gets a chance to shout ‘Nooooooooo’, my mouth is open and it’s all coming out.
My outspoken-ness has got me into trouble and hasn’t always served me well. Most of the time I am shouting about inequality or unfair behaviour but because I have done just that, shout, the message has got lost.
About 18 months ago, I wondered if I should say anything at all. I went through a ‘quiet’ phase. No laughing, I did! But I realised recently that, that wasn’t me either and all my written word had lost its passion.
So how can we ‘say’, be thought provoking but not lose the impact of those good words?
I received an email today from our school principal detailing his reaction to inexcusable behaviour from a group of senior boys on public transport. The behaviour was appalling, and he was equally appalled. I questioned whether I should respond to his email and detail my own horror. But instead of going on the attack, I wrote and asked a few questions around the detail of the programs in place to help teach our boys appropriate behaviour.
I am learning to deliver commentary better. I am learning to take a breath before answering. I am learning that it is not always up to me to say something and to let others chime in. I am learning to re-read emails, texts and blogs before sending. I am learning to be less outraged and ask a few more questions to get clarity around a situation.
I won’t always be great at it but I think for me, it’s important to ‘say’. I hope I can do it with charm, with appropriate humour and with compassion.
In the words of the cynic Greek philosopher Diogenes:
‘We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less’.